I eased myself into the day today knowing what my plan was for the day. I started a routine last week which I intend to maintain and that made it even easier to rest and to not rush myself needlessly. I got to the library before the rush and settled into a computer on the quieter side of the building. By the time I stopped for lunch at 2pm I had almost finished editing the first sub-chapter of my paper to send to my advisor. I thought about stopping early because I had completed that goal, but I decided to push on and into the next section. I managed to make some advances in the next section before I stopped for the day.
On my way home I listened to The Music Man. And then I watched Home for the Holidays, which I had been wanting to do for a couple days now. And then I had the revelation that I am going to be 28 this autumn. And I find that funny, somehow. And in that moment, catching my reflection in the mirror, I laughed because I realized that I have been here before.
Since my dear friend Leah gave me a copy of this movie more than six years ago, I have come home many times to curl inside myself for a little while and let it warm my heart. And now, in this moment, I can remember those past moments and this present one and it's like I am experiencing them in layers but at the same time. I feel myself at these different ages and places and I've never been where I would've thought I would end up. And I find that funny. And comforting. In all these years I still surprise myself with the smallest revelations. And I feel more at home in myself right now than I have in months. It's nice.
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