The more I read articles, essays, and books by established authors, the more I realize they all violate some of the rules by which I judge my writing and my thought. This is not to say that they violate all rules. My realization is simply this: sometimes I focus on attempting to pass in academia rather than simply writing what I think.
This is something I observed during the Graduate Certificate Program at UC Santa Cruz and it's something that still affects me. At a certain point I will internalize that I can move beyond a hoop-jumping mentality. Or I will decide that I will deal with miscommunications after they happen rather then spend time contorting my thoughts to fit a paradigm that may or may not be in effect.
I am learning to trust my voice. I remember when I got to interview theatre director Anne Bogart for my introduction to directing class. I asked her about how she got to where she was and she basically responded: by directing. She acknowledged that studies could be helpful but that, ultimately, it was by actually directing that she learned the most. And I think that's what I'm doing here: learning by doing.
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