A work in progress

I have submitted (Thanks Chad!) two of my four assessments prior to the dissertation. I am in the second week of my second term of classes. I feel this is an appropriate time for a bit of reflection on the program, on my process, and on my goals.

My first essay for the M.Phil. was my paper on Tom Murphy which I have mentioned previously in my blogging. I started research at the beginning of November, although I had already read a few resources that helped shape my research by that point. In the two assessments I have completed (the Tom Murphy essay and my presentation on John Patrick Shanley's Doubt--see previous posts 1, 2, 3), I found that I wrestled with similar issues: I love gathering information, but I dislike the definitive product of a paper. I am more interested in the process of learning than in the disseminating my knowledge or opinions. And it shows in both pieces that I was not committed or confident in what I wrote which is unfortunate because I know A LOT about both things. I think the Doubt presentation and paper were more successful because I did at least five different versions before I developed the one I used. With the Tom Murphy essay, I am still figuring out what I really wanted to say and how I should've said it.

This creative aspect of structuring my ideas is important to me and I understand that I will not be happy in a career in which I have constant deadlines for written material unless I keep working at this and develop my ability to do it more successfully. Hopefully I will develop my own voice (which I am also not good at doing in my papers) and start incorporating the confidence I have in conversation into my written work.

I am considering working on a rewrite so I can submit to a conference that will be happening in Dublin in the summer, but I would need to submit an abstract by Friday. We'll see. Homework first, then career building.