I was given an iPod for Christmas last year. I wanted it, knew I would enjoy it, but didn't open it until yesterday. Most folks are shocked by this. There were a number of reasons along the way and I don't regret my decision. On the contrary, I think I opened it at just the right moment. I am in the process of writing papers and preparing a presentation and find myself distracted, overstimulated, and annoyed by people while I am trying to articulate something I have yet to put into my own concise words. I wore my yellow baseball hat earlier this week, which, as some of you know, is usually something I do when I want a bit of distance from the world. (My Giant's hat is worn for fun and pleasure only.) There is something about the yellow hat, the visibility of the bill sticking out over my face, shielding me just a bit, reminding me that I can find a space small enough to feel secure, manageable, simple.
And now I can achieve that bubble with my music or comedy. It's like listening to my friends, and I get to select what they say. I get to control the input at least this little bit. (Anyone out there remember the desk day?) So I listened to Dane Cook on my way to school, to Segovia play guitar while I wrote my paper today, and to Cake after I finished my work for the day. And I had my loved ones with me in my heart when I listened to songs with which I have a history, an appreciation, a respect.
I will not choose the bubble all the time. Sometimes I will choose the uncontrollable world around me and whatever comes my way in the moment. But for right now, the bubble suits me just fine.
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