The Funniest Taxi Driver in Dublin

Given that my experience of Dublin taxi drivers is limited to ten (roughly), my assessment of his status as The Funniest may be premature, but Ed is heads and shoulders about the rest in this category. It probably helped that I was kinda tired and spacey when I got into the taxi (which I was taking because I'd missed the last regular bus and didn't want to wait for the night bus line to start). The usual exchange of where are you from/for how long are you here ensued. When he found out I was studying drama, he told me about having a well-known Dublin theatre figure in the cab recently and about how he told this proper fellow so many good jokes that the man was in bits by the time he was dropped off.

At this point I am thinking to myself that I won't get to hear any good jokes because they are probably not acceptable for mixed company. Ed asks me if I know about the local politicians and I say no. He tells me about this one fellow known to have a bit of a stammer and folks often take the piss out of him for it. (By the way, that's a very common bit of slang here: taking the piss.) Ed then moves topics to the Ryder Cup and I say, yes, I've been in town for almost two months (!!) and was here for that. At this point, Ed refers back to the theatre fellow and a conversation they had.

Please note that I will not be able to do justice to his storytelling and timing, but will do an impersonation if you ask when I see you next. Also, this joke probably doesn't translate well to typing it out, but you'll hopefully get the idea.

Ed asks if the man is looking forward to the Ryder Cup. The man replies that he is a great fan of golf. Ed asks if he's heard that Tiger Woods won't be playing. The man is shocked and says that he hasn't heard this bit of news. Ed explains that Tiger Woods refused to come because the politician with the stammer will be welcoming everyone to the "K-K-K Club."

I was completely caught off-guard, partially because I hadn't quite realized he was telling me a joke. As many of you know, I can really get the giggles going when I find something funny. Ed seemed satisfied to have found a good audience. I told him I was afraid he wouldn't tell me any of the good jokes. He smiled and asked if I wanted to hear another. We spent the entire ride in fits of laughter. After he told me a few (including a hilarious one about two Irish guys trying to gather money for pints and one about a prostitute shopping for perfume that definitely requires being told in person), I told him the one about the novice who goes to the bar for a bottle of vodka for the Mother Superior and the "do you know the difference between a salami sandwich and a blow job" joke. He laughed lots and said he'd use the latter one for sure. (Thanks for that one, Phil!)

Of course, by the time I get home, I too awake to get to sleep right away, but it was worth it!